i have a dream ...

I feel like I'm starting to dream again.  And I love it.

For the first 25 years of my life, I was such a dreamer.  I had so many hopes, visions, goals ... and I just knew that they would happen if I just fought for them.  Somehow, around 25, I either lost the dream or lost the fight (or both) and have drifted into this passionless existence.  I've gotten so used to living in survival mode that I've forgotten what it's like to be excited about something.  No more!

I'm continuing to work on my children's book ... I'm buying pretty things for my home ... I'm blogging again ;) ... I'm going church shopping even though I hate it (because we WILL find the right one!!) ... I'm looking at other jobs to apply for ... it's so freeing!  I'm even starting to think of what I'd like to do when we're done reproducing ... and why not?  So what if it changes in the next few years?  I LOVE having vision again.  I didn't realize what a slump of mundane living I was in until I made the decision to walk out of it.

My latest dream is ministry ... I just feel so called to minister to women.  I'm not oblivious to how arrogant that probably sounds, but you know ... God has given me wisdom when I've asked for it.  And I don't believe that it's just for me.  God has clearly made me a relational person; my "sweet spot" tends to be when I'm talking to a friend and helping them through the trials that we all face.  I have no idea how, what, when, or where, but I know that I'm asking for direction.  Do I go back to school for counseling?  Do I start a Bible study?  Do I start an advice column?  We'll see!

But for now, it's so nice to dream ...